Ok so I wasn't as smart as I thought I was. The stimulus controller knows when its element is added/removed from the DOM (and calls connect/disconnect appropriately). But if any child elements are added, they don't automatically have my new event handlers.
So I borrowed jQuery's event delegation concept, and listen for any events that 'bubble' up to the controller element, and delegate them as needed.
Alternatively, maybe I could have used a Mutation Observer, but I think it's best to avoid where possible.
Or of course, we could just revert my change and keep the 'data-action's in the HTML. I'm curious to hear opinions on this.."